Barry — I really appreciate your incredibly thoughtful response! A lot to untangle here.
I wrote a response to two of the above comments that provides some much needed context and addresses a lot of your thoughts/questions. If you’re curious, I’d really encourage you to check them out.
To boil it down, my ex-husband and I met when we were 19 and 20, and married when we were 23 and 24. We were too young to be able to make any sort of long-term commitment because we hardly knew who we were as our own two people. As we evolved, I became passionate about different ideas/politics. He tried to understand where I was coming from, but didn’t share the same beliefs. I wanted to walk down a risk-ladened path career-wise, while he spent his time reading books titled “How to Get Rich Carefully”. Despite our futile attempts to be happy together, I was never going to be happy because there was no way to not abandon myself/my ambitions while staying in that marriage.
It’s important to note, however, your thoughts on the topic have absolutely nothing to do with me and my story, and everything to do with how you define love and marriage. While you didn’t have enough context to make this call before, do you believe the sanctity of the vows I made at 24 should supersede my growing desires/dreams not supported in the marriage? Sure, my ex didn’t have that information prior to getting down on a knee, but does that mean I should have hit the suppress button because I said “I do”? If your answer is yes, then we have different values. And that’s okay!
I’m not someone in search of the infatuation of new love. I’m in search of a partner who is on the same page as me and wants similar things out of life. I’m not a simple person and will continue to grow, change, and evolve, which will likely result in a less-than-traditional life. The best part? it’s my life. While it might be entertaining to you (glad someone is entertained by my articles!) it’s quite the opposite of sad. What’s sad is people staying in a marriage that isn’t right (male or female) because they think they’re supposed to.
